Sometimes you get mad. Sometimes, when you get mad, you are inevitably and inexplicably forced to process what happened to trigger such a passionate response in yourself. Sometimes as you're processing, you make a connection between past trauma and what you allow for yourself, and it's really hard to be that honest with yourself and to heal and grow through it. Trust me, I know- I've been through this process a million times, I'm going through it again now, and I'm sure I'll go through this or something similar a million more times before I die. C'est le vie and all that, right?
In life, we inevitably and occasionally have to look at how we deal with things; at what we allow for ourselves and how that fits into what we've been conditioned to allow or believe about ourselves. I know a lot of people with chronic physical and/or mental illness, people like me, who struggle with feelings of worth, and I want to take this time to tell you that your feelings matter. That you matter, and are relevant. I want you to know, no matter what, that your needs deserve to be met. You are not a burden, you carry a burden and that is NOT the same thing.
On top of Fibromyalgia and a few other health tidbits, I also struggle with Depression and Anxiety, and frankly, I've also been through my fair share of hard times that left their mark. Even though I know better, I still sometimes have to remind myself that my needs matter. That my feelings matter. I feel like I've done a lot of work on myself, on healing past trauma and giving myself the tools to deal with situations like this where I have to process my emotions, and despite all that it's not always easy. Sometimes you can sit with it, work through it, and be okay in a fairly short period of time, and sometimes you need help to get through it to the other side.
Unfortunately there is still a stigma around mental health and asking for help if you need it, and I'm not here for that message so I want to be open and honest with you all about this because it's important: if you are struggling to process anything today, I want to give you my love and support because I know it's not easy. Processing heavy emotions isn't easy. Living with a chronic physical or mental illness (or both) isn't easy. Getting through a traumatic event isn't easy. Putting a mirror up to yourself and examining the reflection is NOT easy.
Self-care isn't all face-masks and Netflix. Self-care is also taking the time to do the emotional work and that work is HARD. Sometimes you can do it on your own and sometimes you need a little help- and being brave enough to do the work, even if you need someone to hold your hand while you do it, is nothing short of courageous.
If you're going through something and you need a little help to process it in a healthy way, I want to encourage you to ask for it. Call/text a friend. Text therapy apps are amazing, and there are hotlines out there for all sorts of things with people who are trained and waiting and willing to help you on the other end of the line- people who love you and want to help you. If that's too "new" or if you need something more substantial you can make an appointment with a therapist and go to their office to chat- even one session can lift a weight off your shoulders or give you a tool or a boost that you need to get through. Self-help book, workbooks and downloads are everywhere online.
There are a lot of free resources out there in addition to paid ones, and there is something for everything and anything you could be experiencing- please take advantage of them if you need them, there is no shame in asking for help, and you're more than worth it.
I'm lucky in that I'm already starting to feel better emotionally, but I know this isn't always the case. Please be sure to take care of your hearts, minds and spirits in addition to your bodies Spoonies, I'm rooting for all of us!
-FSC Founder and Fabulous Fibro-Fighter-