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I feel like I've been spending a lot of time in bed lately, as in more than usual. As a person with a chronic illness, I understand that I do, in fact, spend a lot of time in bed, but coming to terms with the fact that you have to spend more time in bed than most people is never a great feeling. After a long day of work, after going out, after doing a particularly difficult chore- I often go straight to bed, usually to nap for at least an hour or two, then I spend however much time I need to in bed while I recover. So as you can imagine - I spend a lot of time in bed. In fact, I'm writing this in bed right now!
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When you have a chronic illness like Fibromyalgia, you have a limited amount of energy, and it doesn't always get replenished in the time-frame or in the ways that you think it will. The Spoon Theory is a really helpful tool to help us describe to non-Spoonies how it can feel like energy is a finite and rare resource for us, and even further, helps to explain that we do not wake up with the same amount of energy every day and that all tasks do not require the same amount of energy to complete. Some days we have more, some days we have less, and some days our energy is squandered far more quickly than we think it will be- and there isn't anything we can do about it.
All in all, this adds up to an equation for Spoonies. A decision that we have to make before doing or committing to anything at any time. It's something we do both unconsciously and consciously throughout every day of our existence. We have to decide if we have enough energy to perform a task, and then decide if we will have enough energy left over to do the rest of the things we need to do that day if we DO decide to preform the task in question, THEN we decide whether or not doing the original task is worth it or not. Because of this, tasks and goals are constantly prioritized, reprioritized, put on hold, and sometimes taken off our to-do lists for good. |
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