Today, I feel TERRIBLE. I got in a car accident last week that produced a flair that makes me want to fold over, crumple on the floor, and stay there. FOREVER. I'm weak, in a hell of a lot of pain (like, Vicodin and Soma ain't working kind of bullshit so you can stop taking pills because why kill your liver for no reason and just take it like a woman level pain), and yet here I am- at work.
I'm lucky enough to have an office job that allows me some flexibility regarding my daily start and end hours (as long as I work 40 hours a week) so if I need a little extra time in the morning I can take it. Where I can sit and do menial tasks when I don't feel up to do doing Boss Lady level work, but how long will I be able to hold this down? What about the other people with Fibromyalgia who aren't so lucky? Who are sentenced to poverty because their syndrome doesn't allow them to work a normal job and disability benefits are laughable, if you can qualify for them that is.
When you have a chronic illness, it's not always easy to stay positive. Put up all the 'positive reinforcement' notes you want, sometimes it just hits you. BAM! Negative Nelly puts up shop in your brain and there you are, feeling down. Again.
It's especially not easy when you don't receive the positivity and understanding you need. It's hard for people to understand an "invisible" chronic disease. Or any "invisible" disease really- let's be real. But constantly hearing things like: "you look fine," "you never hang out," "get over it," and after a while, it all adds up, and you have a bad day- before you know it that bitch Negative Nelly is back and worse than ever.
How many times do you think someone vomits in their lifetime? Hundreds? Thousands? Babies puke more than Cocker Spaniels and some of us continue to do so for the rest of our lives while others develop "steel stomachs" but no one seems non-plussed by vomiting.